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Hash # 700

Hares: Black Box, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Blazing Straddle, Bullshit

Location: Alley behind Mr. Days, D.C.

                                                     St. Patrick himself would have been impressed as the White House
Hash observed its traditional St. Patti's Hash in the alley by Mr. Days. A sea of green-clad hashers lined up to pay the green to Raise My Titanic/Tits Ahoy.
Among all the snappy green headgear was one Duck Job sporting a new hat-of-many-colors that could not have been as painful to wear as it was to view. At least
from his vantage point he didn't have to look at it.

The Irishest attendee was the virgin Just Erin, 6-day old daughter of Oralgina and Jimmy Hendrix. Last week's Trouser Snake/Celtic Climax/Dumb 'N
Dumber trail appears to have cued young Erin to make an appearance; Oralgina must have shortcut after the first bridge.

Both GMs were present and seemed to be in good health following dangerous overdoses of hashing (if there is such a thing), Fussy Bitch at Mardi Gras and
Perk-A-Set at Interhash2000. If their hashing stories are even remotely as colorful as their deathbed stories, I can't wait to hear them.

After a rousing Father Abe echoed through the alley, and Mellow Foreskin Cheese delivered his usual pre-trail pep talk - "ONE BEER STOP, ONE IRISH CREAM
STOP, THE BEARS SUCK!" - the pack set out in search of beverage.

We wound through the streets, alleys, and parks of our nation's capital following wisps of flour and green hare's arrows. Holy Tit directed traffic as some busy
intersections, with those loud tights he didn't need his whistle. Latecomer CumBaYa, having recovered from Friday's St. Patrick's beer bath, caught up with the
pack in time for the St. Patti's beer stop. Where does one hold the St. Patti's beer stop? In her ex-husband's back yard, saints be praised. Brew Crew Big Bird
Turd, Jailhouse Cock, and Just Lin had the kegs and our favorite golden beverage well under control.

Having warmed up inside and out, the WH4 returned to the trail with renewed energy. Much thanks to the manly CumBaYa and the equally manly Suck It Blue for
demonstrating their energetic manliness by carrying me up one steep-ass hill. (Want to be mentioned in the Trash with the adjective MANLY? You know what to
do.)

Hash hound Pekoe was running with NecroFeelMyAss while the usual pull-ee Oil Of Nolay ran ahead in appreciation of his new knees. I'm sure this was one day
he appreciated returning to the runners trail because the walkers got lost and missed the Irish Cream stop, but more of that later. And when NecroFeelMyAss
became tangled in Pekoe's leash and did a face plant, I'm sure she had some thoughts about Oil Of Nolay's new knees, too.

Steers & Queers was serving up what was left of Black Box's Irish Cream (I understand the hares polished off a pre-trail gallon) when I chugged into the next
refreshment stop in the park across from the Irish Embassy. Pay Per View pointed out visitor Broken Trojan from San Francisco H3, whom we had met last
month at Interhash. BT was happily sipping his third cup o' cream, praising the Irish and the Tasmanians, and vowing to return to the right coast as often as
possible to hash with WH4. Also visiting was Chip'n'Dale from West London, dressed in his kilt and sportin' the family jewels underneath.

Spinal Tap handed out copies of lyrics, the pack congregated on the walk facing the Irish Embassy, and the ambassador was serenaded with "When Hashers' Eyes
are Smiling". The police were present, but there was no sign of the walkers.

We made our way back to the alley by Mr. Day's where the Brew Crew was once again prepared for business. Just when we thought it couldn't possibly get any
better, WDFK called the hash to circle up for business. Two squad cars of the District's finest pulled into the alley, blocking all avenues of retreat. Hares Blazing
Straddle, Bullshit, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, and Black Box were charged their vessels with water; my beer and I hid behind Tits For Tots. We all watched in
horror as Big Bird Turd strode down the alley and approached the officers (BBT batted 0-11 with police at the circle last year). No one was surprised when the
lights started flashing, but we were when the police backed their cars out of the alley and BBT returned triumphantly to his post by the keg. I think he kissed 'em.*

The hares exchanged water for beer and performed their down-downs in the age-old Irish tradition of licking the remnants from the sides of their mugs.

Next the virgins were introduced: Virgins/Brought by/temp name/show us your...

Leslie Plate/Barney's Bitch/Cums on a Banana/Pot of Gold

Megan Wilson/Barney's Bitch/Who's on Top/Shalele

Mara Dublin/??? ß (oops! Apologies to Mara)

Joanna Poscover/Tartwheel/Rides on a Tongue/Show us your tits

Alan Barber/WEED/AIDS carrier/Rainbow's end

Sarah Byun/Alan/Got no taste/Play with these lucky charms

And the visitors were welcummed: Ballon Balls - DCH3, Social Disease - Sydney Thirsty Hash; Ring-a-Ding-Dong - Guam,
Pencil Twat - Guam, Hyena - Hogtown, Humidor - Hogtown, Chip'n'Dale - W. London, Broken Trojan - San
Francisco

One huge anniversary was recognized - Black Box with 200 hashes! And when one hare drinks ... and GMs, and
cheeseheads, and Bill Wagners, ad nauseum.

We had one very special guest: an ancient WH4 hashit, originally possessed by Blazing Straddle, kidnapped by
Moby Dick and taken to Africa, where it traveled the hashing circuit and collect a lot of junk that still dangles
from it. Rather that risk handing it back to Blazing Straddle, it was retired to the hash museum (WDFK's den).
After BS drank from it her share of punishment.

Bolo Head Rat saw fit to return the hashit after hogging it for about six weeks, during which I hope he unstopped
all the plumbing in his house. Nominations for hashit this week were Bolo Head Rat for hogging the hashit for a
month, and Dangerously Close for misreading the walkers' map and causing the walkers to miss the Irish Cream
stop. And the winner: Dangerously Close. Hats off, pots on the floor; we had evaded arrest for another week.

*There's a story behind that, but it would put you off your drink for a week.

Directions to next week's trail:

WH4 Trail #702: the Fool's Hash

Hares: Vibrator & Big Bird Turd

Start: Arlington Forest SC (Rt 50 & Park Dr)

oNoNoN: Whiteys