Hares: Short Bus Bitch, US Boobs & Oral Report, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Big Bird Turd

Scene: Arlington

Last Monday night was the staging of the fourth annual Bill Wagner**2 Birthday Hash, where the Bills and numerous other June babies led the White House Hash on a quest for beer. This year's trail
began at the Arlington parking deck over I-66 and, unlike the previous three BW**2 trails, this year there was no rain.

Right on White House time, GM Perk-A-Set circled the 140+ hashers for introduction of the virgins and a special announcement - WH4 has a new co-GM (new, in this case, being a relative term) - Big
Bird Turd. Just when you thought was safe …

Following a round of Father Abe, the pack ran out the southwest exit of the parking deck. Then back and out the northwest exit of the parking deck, then back and finally out the southeast exit of the
parking deck. I ran along with Hurley Girly Mon, Tart Wheel, and Take Me Drunk I'm Home, who are back after having fallen off the face of the earth. HGM gave me the scoop on his final month in
the Navy, he's counting the hours now, AND will be rejoining the scribing team, a celebrated group of WH4 intellectuals.

Pay Per View and ONe tit ONly stopped traffic as only they can allowing Latin Anal-ist, Cyclops, and Vibrator to dash across a busy street and then run up one in a series of sucking hills. No whistles
were heard, but just a block ahead we saw many FRBs milling about a construction site. Holy Tit took charge and plowed through a used car lot, a stream of lemmings at his heels. Beer Slut pointed out
that most of the visible pack had gone the opposite direction, so we did, too. What was this GD mark on the checks?

After climbing twenty or thirty more hills and storming Rosslyn, we saw Shitty Shitty Bang Bang in the distance, Ivy Licker drawing off pitchers of our favorite golden beverage, in the shade of hare
USBoobsOR's apartment. In a sentimental moment, Put It Out introduced me to his 7th grade classmate, Just Chris, with whom he had just been reunited. I believe they had last seen each other when
bellbottoms and platform shoes were in style the first time.

S'Not and Full Metal Balls led the charge (uphill) from the beer stop and were not seen again until circle. Trail essentially passed through a residential section of northern Arlington, allowing Arlington
residents to cheer us on. The only reason most of us did not shortcut the remainder of the trail was the promised shooter stop, and we were not disappointed. Hawaiian Puke was serving up the elixir
thus earning himself Mr. F*cking Congeniality title for the night. Sextra Credit and Tits For Tots critiqued the beverage and declared it "robust, gleaming; wouldn't kick it out of bed." Who is this GD
person marking all the checks?

The sun was low as Bavarian Bush, Mammorex, and I trudged up the bike path to what we prayed would be the end. Gungadick joined us: "Who is this pretending to be GD? There is only one GD, and that
is Gungadick!" The claws were out!

PIO ran up and challenged us to a r*ce to the end; BB excused herself by stopping to chat with a civilian watering flowers. Finally we were on-in to MFC's patio.

Shortly after sunset, WhereDaFuKhawe sounded his horn and the pack circled up. First up were hares Short Bus Bitch, US Boobs & Oral Report, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, and Big Bird Turd.

Next were the virgins:

Virgin Who made them cum Temp name

Paul Pay Per View Cums Quickly

Tom Just Rhonda Help Me Rhonda

Brian Virgin With Mary Orange Crush

Craig No Butts No Glory No Cum Either

Jeremy the internet Cums On An Electron

          Sylvia ??????????? *If She's Old Enough to Pee She's Old

                                                  Enough For Me

Albert No Genitals Licorice Stick

Bill ??????????? Incurable

Wendy Crazy Blonde *Who Cares If You Cum

*Crowd's responses (and we're going to miss Lazy Mother F*cker!)

Visitors:

Public Transport - Moscow H3

Hash Quack - Beijing H3

Just Bert - NYCH3

Long Time No See-ers: S'Not, Ukhugh, Bonnie Brewer, Wheels, Erect Deposit, No Butts No Glory, Gungadick

Violations: Virgin With Mary - smoke break during circle; Gungadick and Gladiator - contest to see who had supreme privilege to write GD at checks; Exhibits A & B and Bavarian Bush - alcohol
abuse; SEAL - cinderella; and the usual GMs.

We had a special occasion and another special occasion: namings. Just Lin is a member of the Brew Crew 2000 but had been crewing without a name. Suggestions included Cum Sucking Road Whore (a
fantasy of Full Metal Balls), 7-Cum-11, and Up My Holster, but SEAL offered the winner - Free Refills.

Next was Just Wallace, who was introduced to hashing by hare USBoobsOR, who refused to provide any dirt on the guy. Suggestions included I'm Worried About The Beaver, and Where's Grommett,
but when Suck It Blue pointed out that JW has a strong resemblance to a character on the TV show Love Boat, he instantly became Gopher.

Three birthday gifts were presented:

Hares SBB and USBoobsOR gave fellow hares BBT and MFC a tube of PolyGrip and a box of Depends. S'Not presented MFC with a piece of grillwork from a red Ford that just fit the scar on MFC's leg.

Someone provided a big birthday cookie for the BW**2s, but by this time only crumbs remained. For those of you who missed it, it was delicious!

Mitey Tite has had the hashit so much this year it has become a member of his family, but he had to pass it off to Mellow Foreskin Cheese, yet another lawyer, for getting lost while leading the walkers
back to his own house.

By this time is was almost Tuesday, so the crowd swung low in the pitch black of MFC's backyard, and we adjourned for another week.