THE Hash of the new Millennium

                          For Directions and Information call 202-PUD-JAM0/202-232-HASH

                            Check us out on line: www.dchashing.org/wh4

                                  "In Beer we Trust"

                                                  June 26, 2000

                                                     Hash #715

Start: 2 miles from Ballston Metro

Hares: Knee Me In The Balls And Sing Me A Country Song, PimpMe Long Sucking, Just Jen, Just Karin

Trail seemed easy enough, I began with Mountain Mama's Ding-A-Ling, following hare's arrows. Soon we picked up Stool Sample and FLAB. We've been out here forever,
we're thirsty, where's the beer stop? Exhibits A & B drove by and "would have offered a ride", but she didn't know where the end was. Finally, in the distance, MMDAL
spotted Shitty Shitty Bang Bang and - circle? And they're singing Father Abraham? We've been on trail half the night, isn't this the end?!?

We were barely in time to stow our bags in the bag wagon before the pack was off. I hung out with Titanic, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, and WH4 newcomer Bull Chip, here
for a visit with his dad Bullshit. Bull Chip gave us the scoop on the movie Gladiator. There's a Gladiator and a Glad He Ate Her with WH4, twins who both showed up
tonight - who gets the GD mark tonight?

Black Box was out of sight in no time, but she marked the trail well for we who "swept". Trail went across Arlington Blvd. at the end of rush hour, but Bad Dog sacrificed his
body and stopped traffic while we crossed.

Runners were seen in the distance diving through a gap in a hedge as rumor spread that beer was that way. Said rumor proved true when Jag Queen emerged with a red cup
brimming with brew, the sight of which was enough to send MFC diving into the hedge; he was not seen again until circle.

Moist Sushi relived the glories of her 330 mile bike ride over the weekend, and how much her butt hurt during the uphill part of this hash. The butt part of the conversation
attracted Fag, Mr. Fashion in his new socks. I thought at first the slogan on his socks said "I Love Dirty Girls", but it said "Girls Love Dirt". With Fag, you never know.

We tried shortcutting to a nearby overpass when we saw Holy Tit and son, Brian, running across and waving, but the PI was intimidating. I think it was Free Willie who
first introduced the idea of an alcohol-free circle for the hares. The sun was setting when Bull Chip announced that next week, he will bring a flashlight.

Another intersection, hare's arrow into the woods, and Great Puck coming toward us with news that there was no flour in the woods. Even Bad Dog was no longer in sight,
so we stayed the sidewalk trail. Within a block was a Black Box mark, and soon the towers of Arlington were in sight.

Finally at the end, Titanic re-opened registration and the bank, there were quite a few late arrivals lining up with their four sweaty dollars. In short order the hares would be
drinking non-alcoholic beverages, and the whining would diminish.

Just remember: People who don't want surprises run on tracks. This is a hash! It's not supposed to be perfect! If you think you can do better, please see Put It Out and sign
up for a trail.

And now for something really different - the circle. Yes, the hares were to be tortured for a bit longer, as they were prohibited from drinking beer due to the length of both
trails. But Knee Me In The Balls And Sing Me A Country Song, PimpMe Long Sucking, Just Jen, and Just Karin did well with their mugs o' water as Finger Pickin' Good
led the down-down song (which was punishment enough).

Next Virgins were introduced:

Virgin Who made them cum Temporary name

Jenny Flat Ass Anita Boner

Reese Energizing Beaver Willa Mandoo

Anne Flat Ass Dumie Upright

Darryl Flat Ass Throbbing Member

Barb PimpMe Long Sucking Tom Yum Hed

Steve No Erector Hairy Scrotum Otto

Annabeth KMITBASMACS JTYOASDFEEEEE

Mark himself Erectophobia

Cathy Mark Electraphobia

Carol Just Dana Ima Horni

Visitors: Mongrel - Boulder; Tits Everywhere - Kiss My Hash; Missionary - Nairobi; Disaster - Nairobi; Energizing Beaver - OTH4.

New members of the White House Mug Club- Crunchy Frog, Moist Sushi, Shriveled Seal, and Great Puck. They were led in a loooooonnnngg down-down song by the
visiting Missionary.

Violations included: the hares, of course; Just Rick - stretching at the beer stop; some hasher who's leaving for aviation school; Moist Sushi - still moving after 330 mile bike
ride; Harem Scarem - whining about WH4 going to $4; WDFK - pee'd in a port-a-potty, instead of following GM Perk-A-Set's lead by peeing in public while warning nearby
hashers not to watch; and all GMs.

Jailhouse Cock was awarded a much deserved Brew Crew t-shirt which led to all Brew Crew then all GMs drinking.

Mellow Foreskin Cheese whined about having the hashit for a week, but there was no doubt he would give it up (the hashit) tonight, to The Hares.

Mercifully, there were no special occasions. Following the usual announcements by MFC and Holy Tit, Low was Swung and the circle adjourned to find a restaurant that was
still open at this late hour.

                                              DNA-Mapping Milestone Heralded

ARLINGTON, June 26 - Scientists today announced they had assembled the world's first working drafts of the entire human genetic code. This achievement was welcomed
by White House Brew Crew, who plan to use the new technology to determine who is leaving so much trash at the circle. The people who clean up after us are also the
people who serve us beer, they could just as easily serve us warm Dr. Pepper, so please take a few moments after the circle to pick up your beer cups and throw them away.

Signs that you're a hasher:

- You know more people by the name of "Penis....", "Muff....", and "Lips...." than you do "Bob", "Jane", and "Tom".

- The only reading material in your bathroom is a stack of back issues of the Hash Trash.- You're talking about buying presents for the holidays and you suggest "Bite Me
Elmo."

- When stopped at a traffic light, you gaze longingly down into a storm sewer thinking "I wonder where that goes?"

- You start looking at stinky, sweaty, unwashed, muddy men and think, "Hey, he's kinda cute!"

- You need to leave your friends and loved ones and stay home with your family to rest up.
- While singing "Happy Birthday" at a birthday party of young children you blurt out the hash lyrics.

- All your erotic fantasies involve the hashit.

- Your vanity plate, your e-mail address, and your tattoos feature your hash name.

- Your entire social calendar is set up so it doesn't conflict with a hash.

- You're in a meeting at work, talking about team leadership, someone mentions the head of the group, and you have to stifle "Head?! Who said head?"

- You find yourself standing in plain view outside your car changing clothes at Safeway, and it isn't even for a hash.

- When you’re driving and any wrong turn is proclaimed "bad trail."

And finally - You wake up naked, sticky and smelling like beer.