"A hash run may involve crossing streets with traffic or running through fields, woods and

streams with briars, obstacles or poison ivy. Each hasher is responsible for his or her own health,

safety and welfare - get into the spirit of the fun but know your limits."

August 16, 1999 da Hares: PullsitOut, HolyTit, CockForceOne, JustSilvia Brew Crew: CWAS

• The next full moon hash is Friday night, August 27th at 7:30 pm in Great Falls, VA. The hares are Drinks on Me, Bud and Wilburrr. The cost is $15 which includes beer, food, a pool party at Drinks' house,

OR From I495, take Route 7 West toward Leesburg. Turn right at Springvale Road (Reston/Herndon area), continue on across Georgetown Pike until you are adjacent to Chez Francois Restaurant (a good 4-5 miles), then turn right onto Beach Mill Road. Go approx. 1/3 mile to 10226 Beech Mill Road, turn left onto a gravel driveway. Be careful-it is a bad entrance on a blind corner.

The hares have suggested strongly that you bring a flashlight, a swim suit, and dry clothes. The trail is not dog or stroller friendly do not bring either.

Monday August 30, 1999 at 6:30 pm

Pre-Lewd to Americas InterHash 1999

Hares: Pay Per View

Brew Crew: Drop Box

What is the number one tourist destination for every 8^th grade class, Boy Scout troop and Japanese Touring Company, in the entire United States of America?? Anyone who has spent any time whatsoever hanging out on the Mall (homelessness does not count) knows, that DC is where its at!

People come from all over the world and the country to cross against the lights, make left hand turns from the right lane, drive the wrong way down one way streets, and take photographs at just the right angle to make the Washington Monument look as if it is coming straight out of the top of Aunt Bertha’s head.

Since most hashes include, crossing against the lights going the wrong way down one way streets, making wrong turns, and of course, large phallic symbols, we were born to have a tourist hash.

We gathered at the Navy Memorial at 7^th and Pennsylvania giddy with anticipation as to where we would run. Seen milling about and harassing the pigeons were HadaMadam, Glad-he-ate-her (or possibly Gladiator, its hard to tell them apart), Tartwheel, DuckJob, MonkeyPiss, PussyW/aPorpoise, JustJim (Just Jim made the mistake of parking along side DumbBlond as we were climbing out of DB’s vehicle and was then accosted by us as we accused him of being a hasher. A debate as to where we needed to go ensued. JustJim, being new to DC and a prime tourist candidate, did not even have a map. So the scribe asked three Irish lasses, who have obviously been tourists before - they had a map - as to where the Navy Memorial was located. Tthey kindly allowed us a peek at their map. MonkeyPiss attempted to entice the ladies to join us at My Brother’s Place, but they had more sense than to be duped); Bullshit, Pickup something or other, (he loaned me a pen because my pen ran out of ink), JustGary, YesDear (Mt. Vernon’s own Co-GM graced us with his presence for the SECOND time this year. He only comes to White House Hashes that are near his office), FrenchToasted who seemed anxious to again be mentioned in the trash, Respecticle Testicle, who is far tooo quiet for his own good, EatMeForBreakfast, TwoLipsonADyke, PaleRider who is looking far too pale for a California boy, and PuckintheCrease who was explaining to someone where Canada was located. Talk about needing a map.

While performing Father Abe, several large burly security looking men with no sense of humor whatsoever watched us suspiciously. Or maybe they watched us because we were suspicious looking?

The hares explained how this hash worked. There was no flour on this run. The hares had taken photographs of touristy things and placed them in envelopes that were then sealed. On the outside of each envelope was a symbol. The envelopes were then handed out to trust worthy hashers (there’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one). At each tourist stop there would be a symbol written in chalk somewhere near that spot. Whoever had the envelope with the corresponding symbol would open the envelope and the picture of our next stop would be revealed.

The hares showed us the first picture and we took it from there.

• First stop was a boy with a duffle bag statue, about 30 feet away from the circle
• 7^th and Pennsylvania , the Starbucks (all the big name tourists go there!)
• 9^th and Pennsylvania – GreatBallsofFire insists he saw Janet Reno crossing Pennsylvania.
• Smithsonian Castle – where we took a group photo shot
• Washington Monument – to the stage on the east side- another group shot. The symbol was located, the picture was viewed, but it took a while to figure out who it was. Turned out to be John Paul Jones the famous baseball player, but know one knew where his statue was – not at first.
• John Paul Jones
• DC War Memorial
• Lincoln Memorial- where we sang an inspiring rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner’ much to the dismay of the Park Ranger (she was very nice but informed us next time we want to sing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial we need a permit. Next time we’ll hum) but to the joyous amusement of many tourist (one who video taped us- many others merely grabbed hashers afterwards and asked it they could take their picture with them).
• Albert Einstein (another photo op)
• The Federal Reserve
• Jose San de Martin (another group shot)
• On to the Beer stop lead by hare CockForceOne who ran BY the beer stop. Much thanks to ExhibitA&B for handing the thirsty scribe a beer.
• The Whitehouse (Bubba’s Palace - where another group shot took place. DC Bicycle Cop Chris Nicholes joined us in the photo. He did even bat an eye or wonder WHY this group of 130 some plus runners were taking a photo in front of the White House. This White House stopped conjured up happy memories for WetSpot who told the story about the time he was laying trail that went around the White House. This was a few years ago when the crazy person tried to land a plane on the White House lawn. Needless to say Secret Service was a wee paranoid and security was tight. A runner with a bag of flour was obviously a threat to national security. WetSpot was detained until they could determine the flour would not combust and then they let him go. He told them in about an hour about 100 runners would be coming by the White House. While the SS were not happy they also did not open fire on the pack.
• Metro Center
• Ford Theatre
• FBI Building
• 7^th and E, where we sang happy birthday to a lady who was dining inside of Jaleo restaurant.
• National Dead Police Officer Memorial (Make that the National Law Enforcement Memorial) where we picked up two strays, Taylor and Nicole
• Canadian Embassy, where we completely butchered the Canadian National Anthem because only PuckInTheCrease knew the tune but she was just not loud enough.
• Ran to the Chess Player statue
• The pack gave up and headed to the alley next to My Brother’s Place.

Those wascally hares had three left over envelopes. Those holding the envelopes had to drink for the violations contained therein. Cyclops – for having a press clipping in his envelope (Media Slut); ThrobsTheCrade – for having a racing number in his envelope; and DuckJJob – for holding a photo of new shoes.

Virgins: (NOTE TO VIRGINS – THE NAME GIVEN TO YOU AT YOUR FIRST HASH IS MERELY A TEMPORARY NAME. NO ONE WILL EVER REMEMBER, NOR CALL YOU BY THIS NAME. IT IS MERELY FOR FUN AND EMBARASSMENT PURPOSES. YOU WILL HAVE TO RUN AT LEAST 8 TO 12 MORE TIMES WITH WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS, OR DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY STUPID BEFORE YOU RECEIVE A PERMANENT HASH NAME!!!!!)

• Kevin- UselessWanker
• Scott- Ringo
• Rita – LovelyRitaMeterMaid (we apparently are on a Beatles kick here)
• Simeng – Middle something or other
• Suzy- Dumpster Reject
• Norma – Dumped by the side of the Road
• Nicole – Klingon
• Taylor – Lost Little Lamb
• Rebecca – Dumb and Dumber
• Lea – Hot Tamale
• John – Dumbest of them All

• SpanishButterfly
• WyckedFelina
• DragonQueen
• JustGary
• GoesDownOften
• SplitEnds
• SmellsLikeBush
• SharpFu**ingBush
• EntirelyFu**ingto Long

BarvarianBush is the queen of the "Get a Life Club" the woman has 300 recorded runs with White House HashHouse Harriers. She got a lovely parting gift for her lack of good sense (a softy, woobie pull over)

• SirFu**sAlot
• BonnieBrewer
• CaptTitanic
• OneNoTrump
• KinginTheHole

Glad-he-Ate-Her –25

LeakyTampon – 25

Goofy – 275

While the Circle was going on the building behind us was having a fit. An obnoxious alarm kept going off. BonnieBrewer was able to locate a guy in the building who turned off the alarm so we could carry on in peace. They both drank for that.

PoodleFu**ed and KYBelly both drank for having dogs. $50Bitch, WestVaWoody, RaiseMyTitanic, MonkeyPiss, DumbBlond, and DangerouslyClose/OfeelyaButts drank for going to Nittany Valley.

This coveted award was given to PoodleFu**ed because his dog needs to wear a cup.

Pete "WhereDaFukHawe" Marceau

Mike "DrinksOnMeBud" Kearney

Eric "RoadKill" Klun

Amy "Vominatrix" Carlson

Judy "CervixWithaSmile" Cunningham

Pete "Number2" Wilkinson

Bret "Steamer’sBitch" Schlueter

Chris "PullsitOut" Kay

Andy "GreatBallsofFire" Smythe

Scott "LeaveItInBeaver" Curit

Kirstin "ButtPlug" Walcott

Jackie "FussyBitch" Appleby

Maria "BiteMeElmo" Bertacchi

Ginger "DangeRouslyClose2OhFeelYaButts" Higgins

Bill "MellowForeSkinCheese" Wagner

Suzanne "HasherHumper" Stephenson

Mary "EatsItRaw" Bussler