"A hash run may involve crossing streets with traffic or running through fields, woods and

streams with briars, obstacles or poison ivy. Each hasher is responsible for his or her own health,

safety and welfare - get into the spirit of the fun but know your limits."

August 23, 1999 da Hares: BigBirdTurd (aka the lone hare) Brew Crew: RoadKill

The DEWEY BEACH HASH HOUSE HARRIERS proudly present the Sixth Annual Labor Day Hash

PLACE: Dewey Beach, Delaware

DATE: Sunday, September 5

TIME: 11:00 A.M. (at 11:31, we'll be gone) COST: $5.00

STARTING: Bottle & Cork parking lot, Rt. 1 & Dagsworthy, Dewey Beach Absolutely No Parking in their parking Lot!; walk or take the trolley!!

SUGGESTIONS: Bring a bathing suit.

CONTACTS: Bill (Mellow Foreskin Cheese) Wagner 703.527.4122

Mary (Eat It Raw) Edwardsson 703.255.6106

Ken (Mudman) Gallant 716.248.2258

Barb (Do Me On the Beach) Barone 302.328.7131

Camping information: Bob (Crib Snatcher) Auer 302.994.5519

It was a dark and stormy night…no wait. Actually it was a nice, breezy day. And it was time to hash again.

Trail began at an Elementary School about a half a block away from the Dunn Loring Metro station. Ya gotta love a hash you can metro to!! The scribe followed a fellow in a business suit from the Metro, through a hole in the fence of the school to make her way to the beginning. There is a certain irony in that last sentence, but you’ll have to find it for yourself.

Today’s hash was brought to us by the "Lone Hare", BigBirdTurd. A quiet hero the Turdman, set out to fight for justice and the American way. And for beer.

Trail did not technically begin until we ran back to the Metro station where we found our first flour. The herd, er, pack, charged through the crowds of rush hour commuters, causing them to scamper and dive, like, well, scared rabbits for the safety of their vehicles. The pack, ignoring most of them, continued through a row of bushes and on..on…

We ran on. At one point we came to a lovely Vienna neighborhood. On either side of the road was a stream running through a wooded area. Most of the pack hoped off the street into the woods and streams on the left. GBOF, who loves to take the short road, decided to go left down the neighborhood streets. He took several others, BadBush, BavarianBush, GetsOffEzz, HawaiianPuke with him. None of them were seen again. But a year later their video tape was found in the woods and this is their story..oh, wait. Never mind..that wasn’t them.

Anyhoo…

Trail went to our right into the woods and stream. Agent 69 and CockForceOne blazed the trail, so to speak, into the woods. The pack came out, still in a residential neighborhood and a check. We milled about until someone found trail, and on we went.

The pack passed the infamous Neighbors bar; site of fisticuffs during the Black and Blue Full Moon Run On-On-On (originally named the Blues Brothers run, but due to an altercation involving HolyTit, SilverBullshit and our most unfavorite non-hasher, GiantF*ckingMoron, that hash will live in infamy!!). This brought us to the Beer Check behind a Korean Baptist Church. This was so we hashers could find forgiveness for our past transgressions. It must have worked. Vienna is known for its sausages and police force, and neither bothered us.

At this point I was accosted by a virgin JustSam and his friend JustRebecca (not a virgin, just a "just"), who desperately wanted to sign in and pay for the run. LeaveitInBeaver could not be found right away so we chatted instead. JustSam needs to get out more. He waxed enthusiastically about the hash! He was one excited fellow. This will teach the scribe to say, "So. Tell me how you feel about your first run." Actually it was nice to hear someone enjoying themselves so thoroughly.

The pack began to trickle away a little at a time and soon we were back at the Elementary School. FrenchToasted, a perennial FRB, got to the school first, saw no more flour, and wrote in chalk "trail ends here". However, the trail did not end there. It ended in a parking lot somewhere on the opposite end of the Dunn Loring metro station parking lot. FT, was not awarded the hashshit, although he should have been a prime candidate. For who did win the hashshit please continue reading this amazingly enthralling trash.

Seen hashing:

ExhibitA&B - The most determined hasher known to hashing. What form! It must be so she can get to the beer before it is too warm. Or gone.

JustCarrie – a virgin who seemed to be enjoying herself.

JustTracy - not a virgin, and should probably be named. She was everywhere. Every time the scribe looked around this person was passing her. Maybe there is more than one of her...very strange.

HolyTit- Was last seen running from Islamic terrorists. Seems the pack ran by the Center for Islamic Studies (or some such organization); we was not wearing his shirt (otherwise, how can he show off his HoleyTit?); and was admonished by an Islamic fellow for showing disrespect to their holy place.

JustJim- he had new shoes on..bad Jim, bad…

PullsOutEarly- was seen running with a color copy of his beautiful daughter. He plans to corrupt her with hashing just as soon as he can!

OarWhore- seen hashing with her briefcase…let go! Leave work behind! Work will always be there

Mammorax- was scoping for chicks..like that’s new and different.

ChampagneCharlie- there’s a long time no seer for you

Continental Divide- last seen at the SOS weekend. Though that cured him of hashing for good

LateCummer – have no idea why her name is on my pad of paper, but figured it must be important so I’d better mention her name.

JustFez- voted "best name given by a parent to a child"..don’t ask me what the whole thing is, ask him! Its Turkish

SpecticleTesticle- this boy is far too quiet. Someone hand him a beer.

Bullshit- he was confused. Wore is headband backwards and became "tihslluB". Yikes! That’s a mouth full!

MellowForeSkinCheese- that boy was wired for sound. A true cheesehead he had to watch the Packers play so he brought his own two inch tv and headphones to the circle. That is pathetic.

And that’s it folks. Its all I can remember, and it may not even be worth remembering…it may not have actually happened either…til we met again! Arrevederci!

Well, It was Monday once again. We had a solo hare; Big Bird Turd. The school lot began to fill and it was obvious that this was going to be a another big crowd. I walked around during sign-in, collecting bus money from those folks going to America's InterHash - LESS THAN A WEEK TO GO! YIPEE!

We sang Father Abe in a nice field at the school were we could spread out. AND, YES, this was a big group. I thought everyone was going to gang up on Big Bird Turd to find out info on the trail, but he was busy singing Abe and bopping around harassing harriettes. Well… perhaps a few Harriers too!

Observations and ad-libs from the Alternative View:

Mellow Foreskin Cheese - carrying his cane. YEA!! Nice to have you back with us doing trail Mr. Cheese. The group was talking about having "Checks" (Intersextions) on the Walker's trail, and Mr. Cheese had to remind us that if we didn't have any checks, we could use our ATM cards! Ha! Ha!

Raise My Titanic - Limping and hopping and trying to get everyone else to "walk this way". The half-wits we are, we ended up limping and hopping for several minutes before we figured this one out!

Great Puck - Quiet as usual, making announcements about vacation flights to the Bermuda Triangle where everyone could "get away from it all"!

Slip Knot - he and I discussed the various trails we'd done in the last few weeks and were grading them. His method of determining best trails: "Any where I actually make it to the end." Obviously he sets low standards…. What does this say about me if I have the same goal on a hash trail… "just to make it to the end"??

Keil Bastard - Missing his golf club walking stick. I suppose he's grown out of it. He was one of those folks who were "walking this way" as directed by Miss Titanic. See Raise My Titanic above.

West Virginia Woody - When we saw a civilian watering his lawn, she pointed and said something like, "look at that guy watering his dog". Also, she was trying to get Keil Bastard or Just Linda to go over and remind the guy that we were in the midst of a drought!

Spinal Tap - Happy as a clam to be doing trail and getting a chance to flirt with the harriettes out from under the watchful eye of our wonderous Haberdasher, Hasher Humper. One of these days we are going to get her out on trail with us…

Black Box with her Virgin Chuck - As usual, Miss Box was really having a ball and leading our merry band with the utmost confidence. Her Virgin, Chuck seemed to have an endless grin on his face. Wonder what they were doing before the hash. How many of you think this guy is really still a virgin? SEE BLACK BOX FOR YOUR RED DRESS REGISTRATION FORM IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY DONE SO!

Eat It Raw - Quietly enjoying trail… she was on her best behavior due to the fact that Champagne Charlie was actually present this evening! BUT, of all the walkers, she was out in front the most, so perhaps she was anxious to get to the end?

Take Me Drunk I'm Home - No Free Willie present this evening, therefore Take Me Drunk I'm Home was attempting to find a civilian who might be able to give her a goldfish to keep her company on trail.

Bramble Bush - Sporting a lighter hair-do was attempting to do trail incognito!

Late Cummer - Performed a vanishing act and actually disappeared after the beer check. Actually, ETFL (Entirely Too F*cking Long) appeared for the second half of trail, so perhaps there was some sort of transposition that went on. I'm still convinced that someone disappeared though.

Just Linda - Spent most of trail knocking on door after door recruiting new hashers. Then again, we don't really know what she was saying to the people who answered the door, perhaps she was asking them if their refrigerator was running!

Virgin Cheryl - Boy did we have fun with her! She started out at the front of our group and seemed to get passed from person to person as we each grilled her about how she'd heard of hashing and explaining to her our individual opinions of what hashing is all about. I am sure she went home later with no real idea of anything except that we were truly a large group of half-minds!

DangeRously Close - That's me! And I was just happy to be here. On-On to American's InterHash in Pittsburgh!

Well, that concludes another WH4 trail on a cooler and quieter evening in late August…

Many Happy Trails, On-On

Stale Penis - New Orleans

Panama Jack – Wachuka

Just Megan nominations: Full Metal Breasts, Slippery When Wet, Roe vs. Lay, Full Metal Tits, Super Soaker, Rusty Nail, Squirting Cum, Hardware Bos, Tood Box, Stroke Her, Teething Rings, Speed Seaman, Fish Bait, Fish Fuck; the crowd began to chant chants Moist Sushi, no voting was necessary!

Sang: Put Your Right Leg Over My Shoulder

Just Oscar nominations: Swing Low, Mini Swing, Squirrel Nuts, Daddy Popin Cherry, Swings 4 Bush. Chanting began, voting took place. The winner was: Swings Both Ways.

Just Beth nominations: Jail Bait, Rectal The Monkey, Pedo file, PopTart, Up the Poop Shoot, Likes Them Samll, Cajun C*nt, Open Wide-Say Ahhh, PD-A-tricks. The crowd chanted back and forth for: Toys for Tits, and Tits for Tots. Winner: TitsforTots

• Kerri – brought herself - Cums Alone
• Emily - Fag brought her - Lincoln Tunnel
• Julie - Just Emily brought her - Who's On Top
• Sam - Just Rebecca brought him - Samsing
• Fez - came alone - Blazing the Dark
• Anthony - Mr. Cheranobol -
• Cheryl - Just Heath brought her - Heath Bar
• Lon - Gus brought him - Disgusting
• Meg - Butterflies – Meg wore new shoes and drank for being a Cinderella
• Chuck - Black Box brought him (way to go BB!) - Black Death
• Brian - Inspect Your Gadget

• 25 Cock Force One
• 25 One No Trump
• 100 Blazing Straddle
• 100 Chap-A-Quick-Dick
• 150 Stool Sample

Long Time No-Seers:

• Mr & Mrs Blue Balls
• Cyclops
• Champagne Charlie
• Watergate

This was a no brainer. The Story: the Saturday past, LeaveItInBeaver, was to move to a new abode. Friday night he was a busy beaver, packing his stuff. And, apparently, drinking the liquor cabinet dry (it is not as heavy to move when it is empty). After hours of packing, the Beav, decided to do some laundry. He wandered down, in a wee bit of a bleary state, to the laundry room in the basement of his building, where he proceeded to wash his clothes. Including the clothes he was wearing. Beav, did not think to bring a bathrobe with him. So wearing nothing but a smile he was noticed by some neighbor, who was not amused. The police were called. The Beav was not going down easy, so off they took him to the local "Charm School for Boys" , where he got a lovely jumpsuit and the opportunity to "sleep it off".

Needless to say, no other nominations were necessary for the hashshit. June and Ward were never prouder.

Pete "WhereDaFukHawe" Marceau

Mike "DrinksOnMeBud" Kearney

Eric "RoadKill" Klun

Amy "Vominatrix" Carlson

Judy "CervixWithaSmile" Cunningham

Pete "Number2" Wilkinson

Bret "Steamer’sBitch" Schlueter

Chris "PullsitOut" Kay

Andy "GreatBallsofFire" Smythe

Scott "LeaveItInBeaver" Curit

Kirstin "ButtPlug" Walcott

Jackie "FussyBitch" Appleby

Maria "BiteMeElmo" Bertacchi

Ginger "DangeRouslyClose2OhFeelYaButts" Higgins

Bill "MellowForeSkinCheese" Wagner

Suzanne "HasherHumper" Stephenson

Mary "EatsItRaw" Bussler