"A hash run may involve crossing streets with traffic or running through fields, woods and

streams with briars, obstacles or poison ivy. Each hasher is responsible for his or her own health,

safety and welfare - get into the spirit of the fun but know your limits."

August 9, 1999 da Hares: FingerPickin’Good and Diaper Brew Crew: Vominatrix

• The next full moon hash is Friday night, August 27th at 7:30 pm in Great Falls, VA. The hares are Drinks on Me, Bud and Wilburrr. The cost is $15 which includes beer, food, a pool party at Drinks's house,

OR From I495, take Route 7 West toward Leesburg. Turn right at Springvale Road (Reston/Herndon area), continue on across Georgetown Pike until you are adjacent to Chez Francois Restaurant (a good 4-5

miles), then turn right onto Beach Mill Road. Go approximately 1/3 mile to 10226 Beech Mill Road, turn left onto a gravel driveway. Be careful-it is a bad entrance on a blind corner.

The hares have suggested strongly that you bring a flashlight, a swim suit, and dry clothes. The trail is not dog or stroller friendly do not bring either.

August 23,1999 at 6:30 pm

Hares: Fussy Bitch & Steamer’s Bitch

BrewCrew: JustBen

Monday August 30, 1999 at 6:30 pm

Pre-Lewd to Americas InterHash 1999

Hares: Pay Per View

Brew Crew: Drop Box

Ahhh..its good to be back scribing. Nothing makes me happier than writing up vicious lies and slander about my fellow hashers. I’d like to thank HolyTit and USBoobs&OralReport for filling in for the weary "View from the Pack" scribe.

But enough of that sentimental crap.

Hashers gathered promptly at 6:40 pm for the appointed 6:30 pm run at the corner of Washington Blvd and Quincy Street in beautiful Arlington. Something was dreadfully wrong this Monday. The sky was clear, the temperature was a moderate mid-80’s and there was no humidity. Obviously, we were not in Northern Virginia anymore.

At the check-in hellos were made to WatchitJiggle, GoldenGeek, JustDave, Mightytight, JustJenna, Just Don (hashing is a genetic disorder in his family. His dad hashes in Orlando, FL), JustTerry, Just Mandy, JustWendy (who is training for a marathon..you go girl), and DeadStick a long time no seer!

The hare’s provided the BigBirdTurd with a list as long as the Magna Carter as to what the trail beheld for us. Something

about circles not being checks, checks not being bad trail, and little pieces of rags. I didn’t quite get it all, well...that’s because I wasn’t actually paying attention. The hares then came out and blamed several of mismanagement for, like duh, mismanaging, or was that micromanaging?? (is a micro manager an itsy bitsy manager??).

After much finger pointing and placing of blame, we knew we were screwed. The pack headed through the park and a basketball game. Although no one claims to have seen flour. Calls of On On finally came from the right, and down Fairfax Dr., past Carpool, towards the Ballston Metro Stop we lumbered. The pack became a wee discombobulated. Half crossed Stuart street and headed around the left hand side of a high rise apartment building, while the other half went around the building to the right. The last half of the pack, kind of hung out on the corner, waiting to see which way the most people appeared to be going.

They appeared, and did, for some unknown reason, head into the Ballston Commons Mall. Why? I do not know. I did not see flour, but apparently someone had to shop.

At some point in the mall HoleyTit bought a cookie (being a generous guy, he did share his cookie) and a security guard asked us to stop running. We walked out the Glebe Rd. entrance, crossed Glebe and kept going. Across Wilson we did run and somehow we ending up crossing Washington Blvd as well. OR maybe we merely ran along Washington Blvd. Because next thing you knew, it was the beer van, happily parked right on the Custis Trail. The pack careened to a halt and had a refreshing beverage. (Commercial Plug: having run with her own big, honking, mug, the scribe did not have to wait for a cup but preceded to quaff a large amount of beer, due to the fact that is was a big,honking, mug. "My! How convenient," thought the scribe excitedly, "to have my own big, honking, mug handily with me!!!!" And now!!! Back to our regularly scheduled tale of woe...)

After quaffing beer, we continued down the Custis Trail, hung a right on to some side street, ran along, when suddenly the scribe realized where she was; near the parking garage where she had left her car. Having seen a hare’s arrow on Quincy street the scribe lead PullsOutEarly, GetsoffEZZ and a few other easily- lead-astray-wankers a different way and to the end. Proudly thinking we were FRB’s the hares let it be known that QuickDrawers, FullMetalBall, MudBuns, TastesLikeChalk, FrenchToasted, BlueBallsofFire(BBOF?? That sounds like a stutter) and ChickenF**ker, actually made it there first. Rats! Foiled Again!

Looney is a true media slut because he made sure the scribe took note that he was there. For some reason my notes also mention he hashed naked, but I am uncertain as to why, where or if that is at all true, since he was fully clothed at the time. Latecummer, WellDrilled and SilentScreamer formally of South Carolina way, all made it onto my notepad as well, but as of today (Monday August 16, 1999 – yes, I am doing the trash RIGHT NOW! – I have no idea why). The scribe also remembers warning two virgins (Wendy and Mandy – you can’t say one name without saying the other) away from AlmondJoy and ShriveledSeal.

AlmondJoy, in an attempt to put their minds at ease, quoted Milton to them. Something about that which is deemed dangerous is the most seductive, or something along those line. This seemed to make them nervous because we all know hashers can’t read.

Also I wrote MonkeyPiss’ name down and next to it I wrote "sand in his pole". I have absolutely no idea what that means.

Apparently, a little strapped for cash, SpitsitOut, forSaleofRent, Just Vanessa, and JustKathy were dumpster diving. There was a really cool old computer, the kind that use to fit in one whole room and took the programming cards (if you are under the age of 33, you are probably saying, "huh??"- trust me children these existed) and a key board with pretty colored keys.

And then the true chaos began, because with 112 hashers present its tough to "blend in"!

FloorShow and BriarBuns drank for getting engaged. StoolSample and TheBody joined them for also being engaged.

And Chuck – I have no clue what his temporary name was.

One from the Road ((Sir Walter Raleigh)

We named JustDave. In the spirit of the fact that he is a Navy Seal and the military LOVES Acronyms, we lovingly named Just Dave S.E.A.L. (each letter stood for something, but again, not written down, therefore lost in the "anals" of history – if anyone remembers, please let me know!).

The Cleaver Family had the honor of retaining the coveted hashshit, just because they deserve it sooooo much.

And with that all ended and thus endeth another waste of a perfectly good evening...

Pete "WhereDaFukHawe" Marceau

Mike "DrinksOnMeBud" Kearney

Eric "RoadKill" Klun

Amy "Vominatrix" Carlson

Judy "CervixWithaSmile" Cunningham

Pete "Number2" Wilkinson

Bret "Steamer’sBitch" Schlueter

Chris "PullsitOut" Kay

Andy "GreatBallsofFire" Smythe

Scott "LeaveItInBeaver" Curit

Kirstin "ButtPlug" Walcott

Jackie "FussyBitch" Appleby

Maria "BiteMeElmo" Bertacchi

Ginger "DangeRouslyClose2OhFeelYaButts" Higgins

Bill "MellowForeSkinCheese" Wagner

Suzanne "HasherHumper" Stephenson

Mary "EatsItRaw" Bussler