"A hash run may involve crossing streets with traffic or running through fields, woods and

streams with briars, obstacles or poison ivy. Each hasher is responsible for his or her own health,

safety and welfare - get into the spirit of the fun but know your limits."

Hares: LoveMeTender, NoButtsNoGlory, BlowsTheCradle

Hares: PutsitOut, RuinedItForDad

Start: Colonial Parking Lot Across from Huntington Metro station, Alexandria VA (Neither the Metro lots nor the Colonial lot charge on weekends).

Trail: A to A'. Tough dog friendly, stroller hostile. Dry shoes/socks a must, no cute white sparkling sneakers (that means you Black Box). Walkers trail and perhaps a turkey eagle split provided at no additional cost. And, don't worry, there is no such thing as PI in October.

Howdagethar: Note: The start is on the HUNTINGTON AVE side of this metro station (there is also a North Kings Hwy side--that is not where we will be).

From Old Town Alexandria Vicinity: Take US Route 1 South. Just after you cross over the beltway into Fairfax County, turn Right onto Huntington Av. Colonial parking lot is on right 1/2 mile up--right underneath the very very high metrorail tracks.

From the Beltway: Get off at exit Exit #1 Route 1 South. Follow above directions.

From the Metro: Get on the Yellow Line towards Huntington. Huntington is the end of the line. When the train has stopped and doesn't start moving again for about ten minutes, you will know that you are there. Get off and go to Huntington Av side, cross the street and there you are!

oNoNoN: Huntington Grill ... food & drink deal arranged.

Directions provided by Hare PutsItOut. ATTENTION ALL HARES!!!! If you email the directions to my attention two weeks before your run, I can publicize them in the trash. Of course we know no one actually reads this stuff and will probably use their copy of the trash as toilet paper should they not throw it away first.

Throbbing Pussy Hash

Hares: DumbBlond, ThrobbingTheCradle, PussyWithAPorpoise.

BiteMeElmo

Ahhh it so good to be back and screwing up the trash yet again. Your humble scribe took copious notes, but as of this writing is unable to find her notebook….so, using nothing but my acute memory and sense of smell I give to thee this tale or woe and horror.

We hashed through DC.

We met in an unassuming park at the corner of 21st^t and Pennsylvania in our Nation’s Capitol. The bag vehicle was most interesting since it comprised of piling our bags onto the sidewalk and hopping no one would take off with our stuff once we left.

Much talk took place regarding the upcoming hash-o-rama weekend of the Full Moon, the Red Dress run, the Fat boys recovery run and then the "back to Sunday" White House Hash. YesDear even graced us once again with his presence. He says it was his 4^th White House hash this summer, but this is only the second time he bothered to check in with the scribe. He and I were discussing the red dress and sizing each other up. We concluded he could probably fit in the scribe’s dress from last year. They scary thing is was he did. Soon the scribe will be supporting a nice five o’clock shadow just like YesDear.

A lame Father Abe ensued and the hares informed us that, yes, there was no beer check. Rope, tar and feathers were brought out, but the DC cops prevented us from actually lynching the hare. Apparently if there are any lynchings to take place, DC’s finest want to keep that sport for themselves. The hares attempted to redeem themselves by announcing a tequila stop. I saw BlowstheCradle sneaking away at that point, probably to roll a drunk for his tequila and nip some dixie cups.

No Beer! Can you BELIEVE that!? What is hashing coming to? Soon it will be taken over by Republican whiners who want to sing Barney songs for petesake. With much whining, kvetching, and the usual drooling, the pack took off.

The run was, uneventful at best. The highlight of said run was the irate motorist who yelled, "Get out of the fucking street".

GreatBallsofFire and HawaiianPuke came upon a very large stretch limo parked in traffic. As they happened by the limo, a window rolled down and a clipped British accented voice said, "On On".

GBOF and Puke almost fell over themselves and stopped to chat the limo hasher up. Apparently he was the GrandMaster of some British hash, but neither of our wizened RA’s could remember from where exactly the gent hailed.

We ran a very large circle through the city, which made all even dizzier than they were when they started. The tequila stop was, well, a tequila stop. Tequila goes done warm and makes all appendages numb. It’s a great date drink if you’re lookin’ to get lucky. No one stuck around to socialize, and on we went. The end.

Other Highlights:

• HymenDickover caught a ride on the back of a pickup and rode several blocks (BrambleBush turned him in- nice)
• GoldenGeek living up to his hash name by running with his briefcase, although he insists his lap top was not in it this time. Right.
• TartWheel, who was not there, but in Munich, apparently called HurlyGurlyMon to rub in the fact that SHE was drinking REAL beer.
• S.E.A.L and his cadre of sexually repressed friends, sucking at the window of a Victoria’s Secret because the plastic, lingerie clad dummies drove them mad with desire.
• MonkeyPiss sporting a new hair color (a color that comes only after one has been contaminated with nuclear waste). He claims he did it because his band were playing a Republican Fundraiser.
• Fag had a birthday and he still doesn’t look a day over 50…
• AguaNino, sadly this is his last hash with White House. He is retiring from the Navy. His retirement ceremony is November 17, 1999 at 2 p.m. at the Navy Memorial. He invites all to come on down. Unfortunately all will have to act like adults. Agua will be moving to Virginia Beach so his hashing days aren’t truly over since he can join those kookie, crazy, nuts with TideWater.
• Goofy who is finally back and actually running! Without a knee brace!! Woohoo!
• LatinAnalist, who has not been seen in forever, but who, according to Cyclops, has a "nice-ass".
• And finally all those who were seen but not heard (now that’s hard to believe!) JustDoug, JustDaryl, forSaleofRent, RipVanWanker(who referred to hashing as a ‘race’- plus we don’t really believe that is his hash name – he did not want to be recognized!), JustRebecca, ShaveMeElmo (my arch-nemisis), PutsItOut, BlazingStraddle, FellatioThrow, DickisFine (who is job hunting in case anyone wants to hire him), JustSam, DrunkasASkunk (which may or may not have been his hash name, he was very dodgey on that point),$50Bitch, JohnHandcock (Nantucket boy),Breathless, JustLisa, JustColina (a GreatFallser), BeerSlut (who has the best running cup holder of anyone), JustTheresa (also a GreatFallser), JustTorrey (who needs to be named, she has stealthily run with WhiteHouse many time now), ChickenF*cker (who is just a complete loser ‘cause he went to Purdue – Go I.U.!), Gus.

The Circle:

Our hares (Love Me Tender, No Butts No Glory and Blows the Craddle) drank to the sounds of "He’s the meanest…"

Visitor:

Fucks Like A Banshee (FLAB) from Hogtown H3 was the lone visitor

Rainbow Dick drank from his engraved pewter mug for 100

HasherHumper – 325

Cyclops - 250

Dumb Blonde and others for private party during circle.

The Hash for making so much noise that the GW cops shut us down.

On ON Mellow Foreskin Cheese

Pete "WhereDaFukHawe" Marceau

Mike "DrinksOnMeBud" Kearney

Eric "RoadKill" Klun

Amy "Vominatrix" Bloom

Judy "CervixWithaSmile" Cunningham

Pete "Number2" Wilkinson

Bret "Steamer’sBitch" Schlueter

Chris "PullsitOut" Kay

Andy "GreatBallsofFire" Smythe

Scott "LeaveItInBeaver" Curit

Kirstin "ButtPlug" Walcott

Jackie "FussyBitch" Appleby

Maria "BiteMeElmo" Bertacchi

Ginger "DangeRouslyClose2OhFeelYaButts" Higgins

Bill "MellowForeSkinCheese" Wagner

Suzanne "HasherHumper" Stephenson

Mary "EatsItRaw" Bussler