EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about
it!
There is a new domain in town!
Hard
Drive from Mt.Vernon is our new webmaster!
Yipee!
And
he has recently acquired www.dchashing.org!!
Many
local area hashs, including White House HHH
can
be reach from this one site. Viisit our
NEW webpage at: http://www.dchashing.org/wh4.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
·
WHITE HOUSE HASH SWEATS - Order
Yours Today! Don't miss out! Special order ONLY:
Hasher Humper has
forms for WH4 Sweats: shirts w/hoods ($25), without hoods ($18) and pants ($19).
You must see her and prepay for the merchandise. Checks can be
post-dated to 10/31.
·
Black Box has
recently updated the Hash Di-
rectory. The updated version will ONLY be a- vailable
elec-tronically. If you want a copy,
you can email her at pattithomas@ost.dot.gov.
·
If you are interested in being
a member of Year 2000
Mismanagement see a member of this
year's manage-ment. Descriptions of
each position are included on the last page of this Hash Trash. The new mismanage- ment will take over at
the annual White House Holiday Party in January.
·
Speaking of the Holiday Party
- if you have any ideas on where White House can hold the Christmas party
(January) speak to/email Great
Balls of Fire or Bite
Me Elmo. A hall or clubhouse facility is needed that can hold at least 200
folks. Email GBOF at -
asmythe@tsc.com or BME at Maria.Bertacchi@ qwest.com.
·
The next DC Full mOOn
is Saturday, October 30th. WH4 and MVH3 will join forces with DC Full mOOn for the annual
Halloweenie Hash!! Start planning your costume NOW, cuz
there will be prizes for the sex-iest,
funniest, and/or overall best male and female costumes, in-cluding the best
cost-ume representing your hash name. Come
out and help terrorize the good citizens of McLean. Start is at 6:30 at the McLean VFW. Cost is $15.00. Great
party after-wards with food and beer and enter-tainment.
UPCUMMING RUNS
Sunday, October 24th, Run #678 Hares: DangeRously
Close,
$50 Bitch, Barney's Bitch, Holy! Tit.
The "It's
Definitely Not a Marathon
Hash!"
Sunday, October 31s,t, Run #679 Hare: Cyclops. The
Halloween Hash!!
Sunday, November 7th, Run #680 Hare: Leisure Suit
Larry. The Russian Revolution
Run! NOTE: THERE
WILL
BE A SPECIAL COST FOR THIS RUN THAT
WILL
INCLUDE FOOD & BEER
Sunday, November 14th, Run #681 Hare:
Diaper. The
Veterans Day Run
Sunday, November 21st, Run #682 Hares:Blowin In the
Wind and Hurly Gurly Mon.
Sunday, November 28th, Run # 683 Hares: Bad Bush &
Little
JAG Queen.
Sunday, December 5th, Run #684 Hares:
Deposit In The
Rear
and Oralgina. The "George is
Dead" Hash.
Sunday, December 12th, Run #685. Hares: Steers &
Queens. Tentatively scheduled to
be joint with Over-
The-Hump HHH.
Sunday, December 19th, Run #686 Hares: Hada Madam &
his
Elves! 6th Annual Christmas Hash
Sunday, December 26th, Run #687 HARES NEEDED:
Contact Fussy Bitch @ (703) 255-3215 or
FussyBichWh4@aol.com.
* * * * * * * * * *
THIS WEEK'S TRAIL REPORT
October 17, 1999 “The Throbbing Pussy
Hash" OR "The It's Raining
Again Hash!". Hares: Dumb Blonde, Pussy with a Porpoise, and Throbbing the Cradle.
View submitted by DangeRously
Close: Well,
this was yet another wet and rainy Sunday.
Crucify the hares for angering Mother Nature! I arrived early so that I could hand out flyers for the upcumming
Halloweenie Hash. In the process
somehow someone thought I was peddling weenies? ! ? Not sure exactly how this happened, but believe me - I do NOT
have any weenies to sell! Anyway… the only other person there this early was
our usual early bird, Black Box. Perhaps she was the one who thought I was
advertising weenies! Then again, why
would she be interesed?!?! Soon, Transarent D arrived toting the surgery recovering Leave It In Beaver (Hash Cash) to take our money, something just
seemed wrong. I couldn't put my finger
on it at the time, but something was just missing. Various people came (they did, HONEST!) up to me to see what I
was handing out and by this time, I was simply handing out limp soggy
Halloweenie flyers. Many people offered
me their wonderful red WH4 ponchos, but I braved out the rain. Still something in the air seemed amiss.
Three
o'clock was quickly approaching and I while I was bopping around amongst the
group, these are some of the folks I chatted with, bumped into, groped and just
generally harassed: Barney's Bitch (who seemed to enjoy my
groping!), Hada Madam (who was
missing his usual Bush?!), Bad Bush
(who seemed totally recovered from demonstrating her flexibility by doing the
splits at happy hour on Friday), Transparent
D (she was seen transporting a beaver?!), Just Robert (DUH!), Put It
Out (no need for a fireman today, we have RAIN AGAIN!), In Your Dreams (in HIS dreams!), Eat it Raw (the wonderful lady who
keeps the beer van supplied with all those tasty snacks!), Where Da Fuk Hawe (hey fella, welcum back from Germany), Deposit In The Rear (hey lady, you
looked maaavaaalous in your spectacular plaid leggings), Mr. Softie (and soft he is!), Bramble Bush (she was dickelss today - without her favorite dick, Hymen Dickover), Crunchy Frog (not bad weather for frogs), Duck Job (perfectly ducky weather, wouldn't you say…??), Fag (is he?), Full Metal Balls (hey buddy - seen your drinking vessel lately?), Gorilla In Our Midst (and he was!), Ground Chuck (thanks for all the DCRD
photos), Hawaiian Puke (my wonderful
co-hare for the Cum and Get Lei'd Hash!), Hurly
Gurly Mon and TartWheel (what a
lovely couple), Major Disappointment
(is he? who knows?), Never Saw Him Cumming (she was wearing
a blanket to keep dry??), Shriveled Seal
(is it shriveled because of the chilly rain?), Heat Seeking Moisture Missile (he has such a devious smile!), No Genitals (what a nice gal), Stool Sample (I don't even want to ask
about his name!), T-bone (Now
working at Mr. Days in Arlington - go see him there!), and all the folks who
returned for their second hash: Just Cindy, Just Karen, Just Jim, Just
David and Just Simeng
(GREAT! We haven't scared them off
yet! Yipee!).
It
was after all this that I realized exactly what had been missing! Our beloved BEER VAN! Where o where was our much adored Shitty Shitty Bang Bang? Before too many people discovered that she
was absent, into the parking lot drove Monkey
Piss with Vominatrix, Ruined It for Daddy and Co. Diaper was following in his battery drained
car; putt putt putt. Turns out the Shitty Shitty Bang Bang wouldn't start
and Diaper had attempted to jump
start it with his car, resulting in engine problems for him. The Monkey
Piss-Mobile was attempting to be a fitting substitution and indeed it was
successful. Hip Hip Hooray for Monkey Piss!
After
all the hub-up settled down about the beer van and we all had the chance to
make fun of Big Bird Turd's new
tie-dyed tights (otherwise labeled as rainbow vomit!) we welcumed the virgins
and visitors and then sang a wet version of swing low with a command
performance by Black Box who added
the personal Father Abe message of
"stay dry". Soon we
were off on trail, all walkers and runners together. As usual, the walkers were soon left in the dust of the runners
but we still managed to follow trail.
NOTE - this was NOT because the trail was well marked! It was primarily because we kidnapped a hare
(Dumb Blonde was very easy to catch)
and made him help us find the hash marks!
Big Bird Turd, Black Box,
East It Raw, Sandbox, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Spurt Plus and I, DangeRously Close, and a few others were the leaders of the walking
pack. We circled around the back of the
shopping center, we went through a townhouse project (or was it The Projects? -
I'm not sure.) We crossed and began
walking up Little River Turnpike and then made a sharp turn into a rather
lovely neighborhood. Sandbox shared her tale of woe over
having her wallet stolen. Turns out
there is a Sandbox impersonator out
there somewhere.
Before
long, Black Box in all her
speediness was out front of the walking group with Eat It Raw… she left us in
her dust! She took Big Bird Turd with her and quickly rounded so many street corners
that we never did catch up to her. We
finally crossed the exact number of streets and arrived at the back of a school
lot where the Monkey Piss-Mobile was
parked and open for business. The water
coolers were precariously perched on folding lawn chairs… it was neat. Vominatrix was
sporting a studious pair of glasses and directing people to keep their cups if
they wanted beer at the end. The
runners and walkers all seemed to arrive within just a few minutes of each
other and we congregated for a longer than usual beverage Check. I was busy doing more groping of the various
harriers (try it, you might like it! and didn't realize it when Black Box took off with the other
walkers. Now, I don't know if she knew
a short cut or not, but I sure as heck was wet enough and didn't go searching
to find out.
Against
the advice of Dumb Blonde - like we
were going to listen to him - Metro Ho
and I decided to take our time and take a very VERY short short-cut out of the
school lot and back across Little River Turnpike. As we casually walked off
the school property, the Monkey
Piss-Mobile passed us carrying a full load of folks who had decided that
this trail was not short enough already.
After crossing LR Turnpike, I really had to "use the facilities"
and so Metro Ho agreed to accompany
me across the parking lot to the Boston Chicken. As I went in, I got very curious looks from several civilians - I
didn't bother to explain exactly why I chose to take a walk today of all days. After using the "necessary room" Metro Ho and I resumed our walk and he
attempted to explain to me just exactly why he has not been hashing very much
with us all summer. He tried very hard
to convince me that is was not due to a new woman in his life… yeah right…
after making up some lame story about Monday evenings being too hard to
make it to, we rounded the corner of the shopping mall and were back at
start.
There
stood Steers and Queers, looking
around rather quizzically. Hey fella,
the hash starts at 3pm! As everyone
began to trickle in, many walking and dragging along, we all drank, ate and
sang some more. And so went another
soggy, raining, wet Sunday trail. Next
week, same place, same time…
Religious Advisor - where o where are you?!?!
On On -
DangeRously
Close
* * * * * * * * * *
This
week's Circle report:
As usual, the first to drink were our
hares: Dumb Blonde, Pussy with a Porpoise and Throbbing the Craddle, who had to do an instant replay for
alienating the raingods.
Virgins:
WHO:
MADE THEM CUM: WELCUMED AS:
Ben Fag Grease the Bombbay
Amy
Cums with Suds
Detergent Lady
Jeff Cockpit
On Your Knees
Visitors:
WHO? FROM?
Wide Open MVH3 and the overall Hash World
Long Time No-seers:
Wide Open
Hungry 4 Head
Get-A-Life Club Honorees:
Vominatrix 75
runs
- This led to the whole brew crew drinking
Dumbe Blonde 50 runs
- This led
to all Hares drinking.
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile 50 runs
Beer Slut 25
runs
Namings:
We had three:
(Just) Jeff is
in the Air Force. Nominations were: Who Gives A Shit and
Pornographic. Henceforth and forever
more, he will forever be known in the White House Hash and throughout the world
of hashing as Sperm
Guzzler.
(Just) Toray is a reporter for the energy industry who one morning
didn’t remember anything about the night before, but the guy was gone. She also was overheard the next day asking
several guys, "Do I owe you an apology?" Nomnations included: Dust
Bunny, Jerry’s Kids, Sperm Guzzler’s Sequel, Hot In Sack and Begging For Sex. Henceforth
and forever more, she will forever be
known in the White House Hash and throughout the world of hashing as Never Saw Him Cumming.
(Just) Varick is
a Marine who, while holding hands with Holy!Tit to cross the water on last
week's trail, made a comment about not wanting to be seen holding hands because
people would think he was a homosexual.
Also, evidently he has a close relatinship with Vominatrix. Nominations were Like A Homo, and Titty
Holder. Henceforth and forever more, he
will forever be known in the White
House Hash and throughout the world of hashing as Major Disappointment.
Violations:
Tartwheel and Puts It Out
for impersonating the WH4
haberdashery with their fake ponchos.
Fag for an environmental on trail that got #2 named for
meat gazing.
The
Hares for shortcutting on their own
trail.
Diaper for not getting his battery up for the hash.
DangeRously Close for selling small weenies before trail.
Hashshit:
The
only nimination and the obvious winner was last week’s hares; Put It Out, Puts
It In, In Your Dreams and Ruined It For
Dad – for putting down and
losing the hashit award. Kudos to Diaper for recovery of the hashit.
On On -
Mellow
Foreskin Cheese
White House Hash House Harriers
MisManagement
(Those Responsible for all
this Debachery!)
Serious
Note: In addition to all the fun stuff,
there is a lot of hard work and effort that goes into running the hash. These folks put a lot of their personal time
into this "volunteer" work and make a concerted effort to be there
each week. This is the perfect way to
show your hash support. People are
needed to step forward for Y2K Mismanagement.
* Joint
Masters: (General running of the hash - the BIG CHEESES, assist RA with leading
the circle, our Public Relations dogs.
They are the ones to blame for anything connected with the hash - if it
goes wrong it's their fault! Attendance each week is very important.) Bill “Big
Bird Turd” Wagner and Pete “Where Da
Fuk Hawe” Marceau
* SongMeisters (Attendance each week is
mandatory. Lead us in song - whether or
not they can actually carry a tune - continually cumming up with new and
exciting lyrics, or just faking it!) Mike “Drinks
On Me Bud” Kearney
* HashHops (Brew Crew - Responsible for:
stocking the BEER, water, soda AND cups - these are real important; driving the
van to/from the hash and beer checks; maintaining order at and supply of beer
at beer checks and before & after circle; and lastly, care, cleaning and
maintenance of the beer van. One member
of brew cew is assigned to each week's hash and attendance by that person is
mandatory - WE OWE THESE FOLKS A LOT! - TAKE THE TIME TO THANK THEM WHENEVER
YOU HAVE A CHANCE!)
Tom
“Drop Box” Carney
Eric
“Road Kill” Klun
Amy
“Vominatrix” Bloom
Judy
“Cervix With a Smile” Cunningham
Pete
“Number 2” Wilkinson
Bret
“Steamer’s Bitch” Schlueter
* HashFlash (Takes photos at each hash -
recording all this debachery for future generations to study and ponder - and
is responsible for having the film developed and compliing photoalbums for
general hash viewing. Attendance each
week is very important.) Chris “Pulls It Out” Kay
* Religious Advisor (The BIG Mouth - Runs the
Circle with the help of the JMs - makes the necessary visitor & virgin
introductions and decides on any namings each week. Weekly attendance is mandatory.)
Andy “Great Balls of Fire” Smythe
* HashCashs (Does Check-in each week - TAKES
OUR MONEY - maintains the attendance records spreadsheet and bank account. One Hash Cash should be in attendance at
each hash.) Scott “Leave It In Beaver” Curit and
Kirstin “Butt Plug” Walcott
* Hare Raiser/HashLash (Tracks down all those
nasty hares, provides virgin hare instruction, maintains the electronic mailing
list, issues the weekly emails) Jackie “Fussy
Bitch” Appleby
* HashScribes (Responsible for the weekly Hash
Trash - that means being there! - including writing all the lies and made-up
junk contained therein. This also includes the reproduction and distribution of
said Trash.) Maria “Bite Me Elmo” Bertacchi, Ginger “DangeRously Close” Higgins, and Bill “Mellow Foreskin Cheese” Wagner
* HasherDasher aka Hash Peddler (gee, where to begin… She is always there to peddle our wares,
etc. She is responsible for the
inventory ordering, stocking/storage, transporting, and selling of WH4 hash
gear, attire and such. Researches new
items and Cums up with the designs or solicits designers for each new
item. She also maintains the finances
for this aspect of the hash.) Suzanne “Hasher Humper” Stephenson
* HashHash (purchases and stocks all the
snacks in the beer van - making sure we don't go hungry each week!) Mary “Eat
It Raw” Bussler
White House
Anthem
We're the White House Hashers
Scumb of the Er Er Earth
Spurge of Cre a a tion
Godforsaken fornicating sons of bitches
Found in every Whorehouse
Drink, Smoke, and Screw ew ew
We're the White House Hashers
And we say, "Fuck you!"
This
week's Hash Trash compiled and formatted by
DangeRously Close.